No more babes?
Three years ago (almost) as I was on the table having my section with Jack the Doctor asked, "are you sure, no more babies?". In fact he asked me twice. Both times I hesitated but had made up my mind six months before that I was though with having children. So, I said, "Yes, I'm sure...no more".
Today, I regret that decision. Part of me knows I will never hold another baby in my arms that I gave birth to. It's almost a feeling of being lost as a woman. Part of me really wishes I could have another child. It keeps us young, it keeps us mothers longer. It makes me feel like I have a purpose in my life.
The name Mom, Mother, Mommy, Momma... That is a strong name that I never considered as a young adult. My mom always thought I was horrible with kids. She never thought I would have any. In fact I NEVER held a baby till I held Jakub. Yet, once they handed me that itty bitty bundle I knew exactly what to do and I wasn't scared in the least. All of the pain I had been through was 100% worth it. A mother's love, that shared existence is just something that mothers cannot explain.
So I suppose what my message is today... it would be to think things through before you do them. Especially when it is something LIFE ALTERING like deciding not to have anymore children. It will be something that will effect you in a way I can't explain. So think about it.
No comments:
Post a Comment