Some days, it reminds me of a giant snow globe here. It's almost as if God shakes it up for amusement or perhaps for something different. A few months ago, with God's help, we shook up things. Many, many things and people were impacted by this shake-up. We moved away from everything and everyone we have ever called friends and family basically. Moved from everything with which we're comfortable. Took amazing and vast risks. On basically nothing more than a giant leap of faith.
See, Dez and I trusted God's will. We sought something greater than what we had despite the risks involved. We leaped out of our very comfort zone into something bright, white, and unknown. We had prayed about things for months and were very active in our search. I think about all of the near-hits we had with jobs and about how grateful I am for those to have landed where I am. I believe I am finally in a position to make some lasting impact on some folks. That's pretty much all I have wanted to do. So, with God's help, our flakes of our tiny snow globe landed in Montana.
During this same time, it both angers and more truthfully hurts me to think about how little we hear from people back home. I totally understand it. I can get whatever the reasoning is behind it. I'm a pretty practical person. It just stinks to feel like it's been pretty much me that's trying.
So, I think about the reasons why. Could be money, but there are options for the world wide web enhanced folks that are free 100 percent. Could be anger and hurt feelings on their end of things. I get that; I guess it would be nice knowing rather than wondering, though. Could be perhaps those folks are going through their very own shake-up. I can totally follow that logically, emotionally. Personally, it sucks not knowing. Maybe I could even help if I only knew. Could be this is just the way things will be from now on. That possibility saddens me more and hurts the most. I get it, too-like all the other possibilities. There were hints of winds of change in how things were going before we ever left Mississippi.
I've spent my professional life pretty much so far using compassion and empathy to the best of my abilities all in the name of helping another person feel better in general. I have much hope that someone out there is impacted. I realize how every person with whom we come in contact has the power to affect our own lives in some way, large or small. I realize the changes we have made have affected people-in some ways good and in some ways, not so good. Since I have known about chaos theory and the butterfly effect (please wiki this-it's amazing), I get blown away by small alterations of things.
So, for those we hurt, I hope you realize hurting you was never our intention but certainly a possible side effect. We simply wanted to flap our little wings in a different part of the world to see what happens (did you wiki as I suggested?). I don't think any of this would have happened without God's magic anyway. Come Sunday, someone we know and love (mom) will be flapping their wings (seriously, come on-wiki already) back in the Magnolia State (she's going home, okay?).
That will most definitely affect us-from me, to Dez, to our wonderful-amazing-beautifu
I could easily choose to live in sadness and hurt, in the past. I can choose to live in guilt. I choose, though, to live in wonderment. I choose to live presently, in the moment. I choose to live with love and child-like curiosity. I choose to live in faith. I trust God and His hand that shakes my little snow globe. I watch intently and passionately the flakes that fall around me and simply say "thanks be to God."
