Saturday, November 21, 2009

Year in the life of Dez...day 27

What does your life revolve around?

With teary eyes on a daily basis my little guy, Jack, usually lets me know that he cannot locate his "nasty wooby". His Godmother, Chelsea, gave me a blanket right before Jack was born when she was moving and cleaning out stuff. This blanket was one of those really soft fleece blankets and I tried to get Jakub to use it, but he had "Ling-Ling" (a panda bear he picked all the fuzz off of and ATE!!) as his wooby and had no interest in this blanket. It wasn't long after Jack was born that he took up with wooby, even to the point where we couldn't leave it behind anywhere without total meltdown.

After a few "leave behinds" we cut wooby into 1/4ths so that we would always have a clean one and would hopefully always have one. In the last year wooby has become "nasty wooby". Even though we cut it into 4 pieces, he has to have the one that smells JUST right. You could hand him any of the others, but if it isn't the ONE then it doesn't matter. When "nasty" wooby gets washed, he adopts the next nastiest one. It's fairly disgusting to think about, but it's HIS WOOBY, it gives him comfort.

A little over 6 months ago I truly thought that I would suck my thumb till I died. Yep... I am one of those weird people who drew comfort from my thumb. I have no idea what I got from it, and when asked what flavor it was I replied "vanilla"... though it didn't taste a lick like vanilla. It was my vice...though honestly, not anymore.

Everyone has a vice, everyone has "issues" and everyone lets things control them. I wouldn't really say that Jack's wooby controls him, but he needs it to relax. After I quit the "thumb issue" it would take me hours a night to lay down and actually go to sleep. I was missing something that HELPED me relax. Just like Jack, if he didn't have nasty wooby at night he would most certainly cry himself to sleep.

Does that make me ANY different from folks out there that have bigger vises? People that suffer from addictions to drugs, alcohol, relationships??? Nope, in my opinion it doesn't. You have to get to the root of the vice to solve it and not need it anymore.

So how did I stop may you ask? It was the weirdest thing. I have, for years, struggled with headaches. So one morning in the shower I was praying over them. A few moments after I ended my prayer it was almost as if someone whispered in my ear... "Your thumb, you idiot...GEEZ!" Now, I really don't think God would call me an idiot, but sometimes it takes shock therapy to work with me. So since that moment I have not even had a second of "I NEED".

I know you are all laughing at me... and I am okay with that. I'm not embarrassed anymore, I can laugh about it. I look back at the years I hid it and realized I was honestly NO different from anyone else that hides a habit.

So what are you hiding today...anything you want to change?

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