Don't, Don't, Don't beat your kids...
Yeah, I am singing that to the tune of Yo-Gabba-Gabba's Don't bite your friends. Today, I want to pull my hair out. Most of the time I have the best, most darling kids on the face of the EARTH. They are usually polite, calm, and typical boys. Today... both of them melted down at the same time. Jake is mad at me for not trading out his treasure toy. Jack.. I'm not exactly sure why he is totally ticked at me.
The thing I am proud of Jakub about is, today, for the first time, he talked to our friend Tom about why he was angry with him. He had a "grown up" conversation about how he was feeling and why he reacted the way he did.
It is important for our children to understand why we react the way we do, but it is also important for them to tell us why they are upset. Our kids need to know that they can communicate with us for whatever reason they need to. Our kids feelings are important and should NOT be suppressed. I know my "raising" taught me not to talk about ANYTHING. I was taught to shut up...to not ask questions and never ever talk back. So what does that teach us to do. That teaches us NOT to speak up for ourselves and that our feelings don't matter.
I want my children to always be able to talk to us about how they feel. How will I be able to fix things if I only know one side of things? Sure, I know why I am upset, but I won't be able to fix the problem if I don't know what caused it in the first place. A Lot of the time the way Jakub reacts to something is solely caused by something I have done...or haven't done. All I know is he is acting out and I am upset with him because of it.
Think about this... what if your child is acting out because that is the only way they can get attention from you. What if your child is acting out because they know that's the quickest way to get a response from you. What if you child is acting out because they don't like what YOU are doing? Yes, Parents, we can screw up sometimes too!
So when you are reprimanding your child next time, stop... take a deep breath, and sit down and TALK to your child. Hear them and then let them hear you... communication is a WONDERFUL thing. Not just with your kids but with the adults in your life too.
No comments:
Post a Comment