Friday, November 20, 2009

Year in the life of Dez...day 26

Slacking...

I had an excuse for a couple of days there. My husband was on vacation and I just wanted to spend time with him. Yesterday, I really didn't have a good excuse. My hubby was pukey all night the night before and I couldn't make myself wake up. I was lazy allllllll day yesterday.

I suppose there are some times that we just need to take a break from it all and zone out sometimes. It's probably not so good for us, but it felt good.

I did, on the otherhand find last night that anger is a HUGE motivator for me. As I went to the mailbox and opened a bill from the dentist we just saw I couldn't help but see red. Sometimes in life we are faced with those moments that we completely flip out over something like a ridiculous bill.

The point isn't that I really liked the doctor and his staff, and his nice new high-tech building (which I will be paying the mortgage on this month)... the point is that their services are horridly priced and my insurance only payed $100.00 of the $500.00 bill. So not only did I get slapped in the face by said Doctor, I also got slapped in the face by my "fee-scheduled" insurance company. What for... they cleaned my children's teeth...wow, something I do everyday at home.

Yeah, I am ticked...was it my fault... yep! I picked the doctor, and I didn't check the schedule on the insurance. So mostly I am ticked at my lack of "thouroughness" (if that is even a word".

So, when I get ticked I work. I usually clean. Jason used to tick me off on purpose to get me to clean. Now my kitchen SPARKLES. In fact I took things apart and cleaned them...even the coffee pot. So I suppose out of all of this I was productive!

Another thing I do when I get mad is cry. It is a horrible little thing I do when I feel like I am out of control of a situation. When I get mad I cry...I can't control that part either... it just happens. Emotion is something I wear on my sleeve. I take it as a sign of weakness. I wish I could be like the people who through most everything are calm and collected. Nope, if you look at me wrong I cry...seriously, stop looking at me like that.

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