A Year in the life...from Dez

Day 1

It's time that I stop hiding and running from my fears. So I decided that if I put them all out there that maybe I can help someone else while I am helping myself.

I am a Christian. I have been since I was a teenager. I used to be really charismatic and had no issue whatsoever with letting people know where I stood in my faith. Over time, I have let that slip. Over time I have become mediocre at best. I try to live a "good" life, but my fears and doubts leave me hiding from people and my convictions.

There are times that my fear of life and of death really rear their terribly ugly heads. It leaves me in tears and sobbing and completely terrified at times. It is crippling and I am tired of being lame. So I am writing this blog, and with God's help and the help of my friends...and hopefully helping others out there with the same fears and doubts... I am going to conquer this.

So where do I start? Well, I will be frank. Since I was a kid I have had Christian doubts. I am sure you are gasping right now as any good Christian would do. So why, as Christians, do we flounder when we hear one of our fellow Christians are struggling with doubt and their strength in God. Why do we look at people who say they are struggling with doubt like they have grown two heads. Is doubt not a normal thing...isn't that where faith comes in?

So what are my doubts? I struggle with death and life after death. There was a time, many years ago...I was about 15 years old, that I can remember praying, "God, please if you are out there and you are really coming again, can you do it before I die?". Then I made up my mind that if heaven was there then that was GREAT, I am gonna live my life like it is...if it's not...one day I will go to sleep and never know the difference. I have tried that with myself this time and it hasn't worked. I need more than that, I need to stretch my faith out there and be the Christian I once was as a teenager.



So, for today... I put the question out there...do you ever doubt? If so, what makes you doubt? I will also leave you with a bible verse. Because of my questions, doubts and fear I am doing what I should have been doing more of...studying the bible. I want to grow.

James 1:6- "But let him ask IN FAITH, with NO DOUBTING, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed about the wind.