VETS DAY...
When I was in High School I honestly didn't figure that I was going to get into ANY sort of college. I had applied, but my grades were mediocre at best. I had quit trying completely. There were several options that went through my head. One was going to the local community college to become a paramedic. The other was to join the Air-Force.
I had spoken with a recruiter several times. They seemed very enthusiastic and I seemed wanted. I had nearly made up my mind to sign the papers when my acceptance letter to UT-Martin came in the mail. I was ecstatic to say the least that a college wanted me. So the Air Force fell behind the vail of what every kid was supposed to do... go to school and become something.
Hindsight makes me kick myself for not serving for a little while. I really think it would have given me discipline that, even today, I need. Yet, at the same time, I wouldn't have met my husband when I did and wouldn't have the fabulous family that I do now.
Now I think about the future... when my children are old enough to make the decision for themselves. I am greedy and selfish and think about the friends I have out there NOW. I worry about those that I know who are serving... I remember weeks ago thinking one of them might possibly have been hurt in some of the Afgan conflict. How could I possibly let my children serve, even if they begged me to. I know it won't be my decision to make.
I want to take a second, to thank those of you who ARE BRAVE, who DO SACRIFICE... you are in my prayers and honestly I am so proud to call you my friends. I am the one who is blessed to know you. So please God, keep them safe, send your angels of protection to watch over them until they make it home safely to their families. Surround them with your AMAZING love and help settle them when they are afraid. Send them friends that will be with them when they are feeling alone.
If I can do ANYTHING for you please let me know. You save me and my family everyday and I couldn't be more honored. You guys are so very special! Happy Vets Day to you.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Year in the life of Dez...day 23
Lables...
Have you ever been asked to describe yourself without telling what you are or what you do? Like... you can't say I am an office manager, mother, christian...
If I had to describe myself it would be thus:
I am and energetic, loyal, happy, free thinking female who loves with all her heart and wears emotion on her sleeve.
Most of us identify ourselves with what we are or what we do. Sure, we may be really good at those things, but that isn't WHO WE ARE. People tend to label others in order to associate or connect with them. A Christian usually associates with other Christians... a Mother with other Mothers... A business man with other business men. I am sure you get my point.
I pride myself on my ability to connect with ALL different types of people. I try not to put myself in a mold, or label myself as anything but a person. I can remember my college Room-mate making the comment once that she was amazed that I could be friends with our Suite mates AND be really good friends with a girl who led an alternative lifestyle. She stated that because they were totally opposite people. I think I just shrugged and said "Yeah".
Another thing I wonder about a lot is... What do people think of me. Not in a bad way or in a way that effects the way I am...or the way I react... but in a way that I am curious. When People see me, or talk to me for the first time, what are they thinking?
There is a song that Willy Porter has called "Paper Airplane" and in the story behind the song is: One day after he had just moved into an apartment he was looking out his window. When he looked down into a window of another tenant he saw a naked woman standing there. It isn't a perverse song at all... it is more like he is "looking into the soul" of this woman trying to figure her out.
I was thinking today, when people see me... what do they see (other than the crazy lady driving down the road singing in the car at the top of her voice)? Do I exude any qualities? I want to... I want to exude the statement I made above. So do I? What do you exude?
Have you ever been asked to describe yourself without telling what you are or what you do? Like... you can't say I am an office manager, mother, christian...
If I had to describe myself it would be thus:
I am and energetic, loyal, happy, free thinking female who loves with all her heart and wears emotion on her sleeve.
Most of us identify ourselves with what we are or what we do. Sure, we may be really good at those things, but that isn't WHO WE ARE. People tend to label others in order to associate or connect with them. A Christian usually associates with other Christians... a Mother with other Mothers... A business man with other business men. I am sure you get my point.
I pride myself on my ability to connect with ALL different types of people. I try not to put myself in a mold, or label myself as anything but a person. I can remember my college Room-mate making the comment once that she was amazed that I could be friends with our Suite mates AND be really good friends with a girl who led an alternative lifestyle. She stated that because they were totally opposite people. I think I just shrugged and said "Yeah".
Another thing I wonder about a lot is... What do people think of me. Not in a bad way or in a way that effects the way I am...or the way I react... but in a way that I am curious. When People see me, or talk to me for the first time, what are they thinking?
There is a song that Willy Porter has called "Paper Airplane" and in the story behind the song is: One day after he had just moved into an apartment he was looking out his window. When he looked down into a window of another tenant he saw a naked woman standing there. It isn't a perverse song at all... it is more like he is "looking into the soul" of this woman trying to figure her out.
I was thinking today, when people see me... what do they see (other than the crazy lady driving down the road singing in the car at the top of her voice)? Do I exude any qualities? I want to... I want to exude the statement I made above. So do I? What do you exude?
Monday, November 9, 2009
Year in the life of Dez...day 22
Hopes up?
Yeah, I get my hopes up...often. A great deal of those times my hopes are dashed. Have you ever heard the song "Thank God for unanswered prayers". There are so many times I can say that as well. Everything from praying over a really crappy teenage romance to praying about schools or jobs...and having it all fall through. Now that I look back on those thing I can see why God didn't see it in my stars.
The problem usually is this... while you are in that moment, praying over something you deem terribly important and it isn't answered the way YOU want it to be answered is so very frustrating. It usually isn't till you have hind-sight that you go "OH! DUH!!!Now I get it".
I am very thankful for many of God's unanswered prayers. Sometimes it would be easier knowing how it's all gonna turn out though. :0)
Yeah, I get my hopes up...often. A great deal of those times my hopes are dashed. Have you ever heard the song "Thank God for unanswered prayers". There are so many times I can say that as well. Everything from praying over a really crappy teenage romance to praying about schools or jobs...and having it all fall through. Now that I look back on those thing I can see why God didn't see it in my stars.
The problem usually is this... while you are in that moment, praying over something you deem terribly important and it isn't answered the way YOU want it to be answered is so very frustrating. It usually isn't till you have hind-sight that you go "OH! DUH!!!Now I get it".
I am very thankful for many of God's unanswered prayers. Sometimes it would be easier knowing how it's all gonna turn out though. :0)
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Year in the life od Dez...day 21
Communication is key...
I am not saying that my husband and I never argue or have the "perfect" marriage but we try really hard and love each other very much. One big thing in our relationship is the ability to communicate with one another. Sure, sometimes I don't like hearing what he has to say, but eventually it sinks in.
So many times, all too often, marriages end. People state one reason or another for it... sometimes I can understand the reasoning behind it...other times I cannot. Marriage, these days and in my opinion, is too easily dissolved. Folks quit trying WAY too easily.
One of the main reason couples quit trying is because of lack of communication. You may hear a woman complaining about something her husband does or does not do. When asked if she has discussed it with him the answer is usually no. Why, in a relationship that is totally supposed to be based on trust and communication, is there no trust and communication? Sometimes I think if we were not afraid to open our mouths things would be so much better. This goes for ANY type of relationship, marriages, friendships...parents, kids. Why are we so afraid to state how we "feel"?
So maybe, take a moment and think about some of those relationships out there and how you can make them better.
Own up to your faults too though...
I am not saying that my husband and I never argue or have the "perfect" marriage but we try really hard and love each other very much. One big thing in our relationship is the ability to communicate with one another. Sure, sometimes I don't like hearing what he has to say, but eventually it sinks in.
So many times, all too often, marriages end. People state one reason or another for it... sometimes I can understand the reasoning behind it...other times I cannot. Marriage, these days and in my opinion, is too easily dissolved. Folks quit trying WAY too easily.
One of the main reason couples quit trying is because of lack of communication. You may hear a woman complaining about something her husband does or does not do. When asked if she has discussed it with him the answer is usually no. Why, in a relationship that is totally supposed to be based on trust and communication, is there no trust and communication? Sometimes I think if we were not afraid to open our mouths things would be so much better. This goes for ANY type of relationship, marriages, friendships...parents, kids. Why are we so afraid to state how we "feel"?
So maybe, take a moment and think about some of those relationships out there and how you can make them better.
Own up to your faults too though...
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Year in the life of Dez...day 20
Don't, Don't, Don't beat your kids...
Yeah, I am singing that to the tune of Yo-Gabba-Gabba's Don't bite your friends. Today, I want to pull my hair out. Most of the time I have the best, most darling kids on the face of the EARTH. They are usually polite, calm, and typical boys. Today... both of them melted down at the same time. Jake is mad at me for not trading out his treasure toy. Jack.. I'm not exactly sure why he is totally ticked at me.
The thing I am proud of Jakub about is, today, for the first time, he talked to our friend Tom about why he was angry with him. He had a "grown up" conversation about how he was feeling and why he reacted the way he did.
It is important for our children to understand why we react the way we do, but it is also important for them to tell us why they are upset. Our kids need to know that they can communicate with us for whatever reason they need to. Our kids feelings are important and should NOT be suppressed. I know my "raising" taught me not to talk about ANYTHING. I was taught to shut up...to not ask questions and never ever talk back. So what does that teach us to do. That teaches us NOT to speak up for ourselves and that our feelings don't matter.
I want my children to always be able to talk to us about how they feel. How will I be able to fix things if I only know one side of things? Sure, I know why I am upset, but I won't be able to fix the problem if I don't know what caused it in the first place. A Lot of the time the way Jakub reacts to something is solely caused by something I have done...or haven't done. All I know is he is acting out and I am upset with him because of it.
Think about this... what if your child is acting out because that is the only way they can get attention from you. What if your child is acting out because they know that's the quickest way to get a response from you. What if you child is acting out because they don't like what YOU are doing? Yes, Parents, we can screw up sometimes too!
So when you are reprimanding your child next time, stop... take a deep breath, and sit down and TALK to your child. Hear them and then let them hear you... communication is a WONDERFUL thing. Not just with your kids but with the adults in your life too.
Yeah, I am singing that to the tune of Yo-Gabba-Gabba's Don't bite your friends. Today, I want to pull my hair out. Most of the time I have the best, most darling kids on the face of the EARTH. They are usually polite, calm, and typical boys. Today... both of them melted down at the same time. Jake is mad at me for not trading out his treasure toy. Jack.. I'm not exactly sure why he is totally ticked at me.
The thing I am proud of Jakub about is, today, for the first time, he talked to our friend Tom about why he was angry with him. He had a "grown up" conversation about how he was feeling and why he reacted the way he did.
It is important for our children to understand why we react the way we do, but it is also important for them to tell us why they are upset. Our kids need to know that they can communicate with us for whatever reason they need to. Our kids feelings are important and should NOT be suppressed. I know my "raising" taught me not to talk about ANYTHING. I was taught to shut up...to not ask questions and never ever talk back. So what does that teach us to do. That teaches us NOT to speak up for ourselves and that our feelings don't matter.
I want my children to always be able to talk to us about how they feel. How will I be able to fix things if I only know one side of things? Sure, I know why I am upset, but I won't be able to fix the problem if I don't know what caused it in the first place. A Lot of the time the way Jakub reacts to something is solely caused by something I have done...or haven't done. All I know is he is acting out and I am upset with him because of it.
Think about this... what if your child is acting out because that is the only way they can get attention from you. What if your child is acting out because they know that's the quickest way to get a response from you. What if you child is acting out because they don't like what YOU are doing? Yes, Parents, we can screw up sometimes too!
So when you are reprimanding your child next time, stop... take a deep breath, and sit down and TALK to your child. Hear them and then let them hear you... communication is a WONDERFUL thing. Not just with your kids but with the adults in your life too.
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