Year in the life of Dez...day 19

Attitude...


All I really have to say today is if you have a nasty attitude about something you are only making it worse for yourself. If you hate your job, your situation, your surroundings, your...whatever then you are the ONLY one who can change it. Until it changes you are the only one who can change how you feel about it. If you hate where you work and you just know you are gonna have a crappy day today then guess what....you are gonna have a crappy day today. If you decide that you hate work, but you are gonna make the best of it...then you will more than likely have a little bit better time...when you let yourself.

In the meantime...search for something better, pray the circumstances change or bear down and go about it. Otherwise you are going to spend a great deal of time being miserable. Rome didn't change in a day and sometimes we are supposed to be patient because there is something we are supposed to learn from our situation. Look at poor old Job!

So, if you need help with that today... read the book of job over the next few days, weeks...or however long it takes you. I promise, it will make your issues seem so much smaller.

Year in the life of Dez...day 18

The Best is not always THE BEST...


I went to Jakub's parent teacher conference today. Most everything he is doing is right on task... he is behind in a few areas, but it's stuff we can work on easily.

I think once I left I started thinking about some things. I suppose I started beating myself up for Jake NOT knowing how to count to 100 yet. I remember when I was in Kindergarten a million years ago that I had to know my 1's, 5's and 10's before we graduated to the first grade. I always knew that I would have REALLY bright kids that would pick up on everything easily. You know what... I STOPPED beating myself and got over it!

No, my child couldn't read when he was 2, he didn't know all 50 states at 1.5 and cannot recite all of the presidents and what state they are from. He doesn't play an instrument by ear, he is not a savant of any kind. Jakub is Jakub and I am 100% okay with that. To me it is far more important for him to have a childhood than for me to beat education into his head. I am NOT saying that education isn't important. It is VERY important and I want Jake to do well in school. I am just not the kind of parent that makes my kid learn how to read while I am still pregnant with them (I am sure that's what is next).

I want Jakub to dream and to succeed. I think it is far too often that parents put these ridiculous expectations on their kids. It's like they are trying to live through them. If they didn't do it right the first time then by George their kids are going to learn from the ways that THEY messed up in life.

Sure, if that's how it worked...but guess what...it doesn't and you are raising RESENTFUL children that will probably dislike you VERY much one day.

Let your children learn, be supportive... but don't be too hard on them. I promise, they will get it one day.

Proverbs 13:10- By pride comes nothing but strife, But with the well advised it is wisdom.

Year in the life of Dez...day 17

Patience is a virtue...right?


I have spoken before about losing my childhood and innocence early. I was telling Jason's Mom just the other day that when I was 5 I was already staying by myself. I look at my babies and imagine letting Jakub (who is six) be alone at home. There is NO WAY on Earth I would let that little fellow stay all alone. I wonder sometimes how I survived...then I think back and don't remember anything bad happening... pfft. My neighbor and I set the woods on fire... But who hasn't done that as a kid? The first time I got pulled over was when I was 9 years old...and I didn't realize I wasn't supposed to be on the road with my motorbike ("sure officer, I'll show you where I live so you can talk to my Daddy").

My father was patient, he really had no choice but to be patient with me. I was hard headed and quite a loner before I even hit the second grade.I can remember getting spankings from him every once in a while... but not very often. He was mostly absent, absent asleep or trying to find a job to support us.

Sometimes I catch myself being really hard on my kids. I think sometimes I recognize that hard headedness in them that developed quickly in me. I don't want them to be like me...though, would that be a really bad thing??? I am a pretty good gal, right? The thing is... I have a 2 year old and a 6 year old. Sometimes I think I expect them to be "grown"...to be more independent...to make the right decisions. THEY ARE BABIES!!!!!!!!!!! What is wrong with me?? I preach and preach about keeping kids innocent, yet there are times I lose complete patience with them.

So, I suppose my whole point today is kids are gonna be kids...let them. If they spill milk (like Jake did last night) just relax and get them to help you clean it up. There is NOTHING in this world that is more important than the flesh and blood that we a raising. So if your child gets sand in the house, or spills their milk on the computer... if they are bickering like cats and dogs... don't over-react...just remember that they are kids, they have to learn through trial and error. If they ruin something...it's just a THING. Our children are way more important than anything we could possess and they need to know that. So next time you are starting to lose patience, put yourself in their shoes for a second. Think about how you were just about to react and think about how a 6 year old would react to your explosion. Be loving and react in love instead of anger. Be the person that you want them to grow up to be.

James 1:3-5 - knowing that all of the testing of your faith produces patience. But let the patience have it's perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask it from God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him.

Year in the life of Dez...day 16

Nuff Said...


Today, STOP what you are doing. Make a list of the people who matter to you and let them know you love and appreciate them. Don't just say: I appreciate you and love you. TELL THEM... TELL THEM WHY!


Jason: I love you, you are a fabulous Father and a God sent partner. You work hard and are diligent in your efforts to make everyone happy and to provide for your family. I appreciate everything you do even when I don't show it. You are special and anointed with God's love, power and blessings. Thank you.

Linda- You love my boys with such unconditional love. You help me everyday without any complaint. You have been an unwavering support for me. I DO NOT say enough how much I love you and appreciate all you do and I am sorry. You are simply Amazing and the best grandmother I could have ever wished for my children to have. Thank you.

Jakub Evan: My first Born...you have an innocence that I appreciate and never want to see go. You love me even when I make you mad. You are so strong and adaptable, you are your father made over. You are so strong and bright, so handsome and loving. You are so loving and fun. You make the sun rise in my day. I love you... Thank you.

Jack Ethan: My baby boy... You crack me up on a daily basis. I cringe when I see the me come out in you...but I know one day you will have spunk and I'll have someone to contend with. You are so calm in spirit and such a good cuddle buddy. It's like you know when I need to be loved. You amaze me daily with the things you do and say, you are so smart and funny. You make the sun set in my day. I love you... Thank you.

Now, that takes care of the people in my house. I could go on and on and on...

Take the time, I promise everyone needs to hear kind words sometimes.

I have to quote the love chapter again today... I Corinthians 13.

year in the life of Dez...day 15

Rushing, Rushing, Wishing, Wishing...


I have had the conversation with Jakub several times about "wishing" things away. I wish I was bigger, I wish I could do ____________ but I'm not old enough... Wishing time away. I know all kids do it. I did it when I was little. I just look back now and wish I hadn't wished so much time away. So when Jakub starts his wishing away I cringe.

I like to tell Jake that he has ALL his life to be an adult and only a tiny bit of time to be a child. I even tell him that Mommy wants to be a kid again sometimes. Adults have responsibility that kids don't factor in to their wishings. I know that children will never understand that until they are in the adult world, but I can waste a little oxygen to TRY and tell Jake that.

Even as adults we spend a LOT of time wishing away time. "When I lose weight", "When we have a house", "When things settle down", "I can't wait to retire when I'm __________ ", "When the kids get older"... It is all time spent wishing for our future. Sure, I think we should plan for our future, but what is wrong with living today? What is wrong with just stopping and smelling the roses and believing in what you have. Are things really gonna be that much better "when"? We all have hopes and dreams, but should we wish our lives away wishing and hoping for them...Why not start working on them but enjoying what we have NOW.

I am 100% guilty of doing these things. I rush and rush through a day and don't take time to enjoy what I have spread before me. On top of that... "I'll do it tomorrow" plays in A HECK of a lot. So, as the old saying goes, "Why put off tomorrow what can be done today?".

So is there anything you have been putting off that you KNOW should be done now? How about embracing your family...your friends and taking the time to spend QUALITY time with them. I think that is where I will start today.

I John 2:16-17 - For all that is in the world - the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes,, and the pride of life - is not of the Father but is of the World. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever.